Well, shit. That sucked.
Don't you hate it when your team is not supposed to win, and then they play like hell and give you hope, and then you think that you will actually win, but then the universe course-corrects and the team that was supposed to win actually does?
That happens a lot to us Aggies, and it happened today with the USA.
Giving up a goal within two minutes after halftime is never good. It was a nice goal, though. And we dodged a bullet with a no-goal that, upon review, should have been one. But damn. Giving up three goals in the second half is never good.
I can't fault Howard or the defence. Our offence couldn't sustain anything in the second 45, and our midfield passes sucked. We seemed to favour passing straight to Brazilian defenders.
In all, though, a highly entertaining game that gives me hope for the World Cup next year.
Great job, boys.
-- Posted From My iPhone
28 June 2009
Halfway there
The USA are up 2-0 on Brazil thanks to Clint Dempsey and a mammoth goal by Landon Donovan. I've been a Donovan critic, but he is playing his ass off right now. He's creative and is coming up big.
Our defence is solid, and Tim Howard so far has been a brick wall in goal in the face of an all-out assault by Brazil.
Forty-five minutes to go. I hope we can hold it.
-- Posted From My iPhone
Our defence is solid, and Tim Howard so far has been a brick wall in goal in the face of an all-out assault by Brazil.
Forty-five minutes to go. I hope we can hold it.
-- Posted From My iPhone
25 June 2009
Let's go to tape
Highlights of the USA win over Spain in the Confederations Cup. Done the right way, of course, as only Univision can:
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Also, a nice analysis by George Vecsey of The New York Times, calling it the "miracle on grass."
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Also, a nice analysis by George Vecsey of The New York Times, calling it the "miracle on grass."
24 June 2009
Suck it, Mike
Oh, Mike.
Mike, Mike, Mike.
Resident USA hater Martin Fabricio, a.k.a. Mike "Mister Man" Herrmann, just didn’t believe in magic. Either that, or he provided some nice bulletin-board fodder for the Yanks, who just blanked Spain, of all teams, in the Confederations Cup.
USA 2, Spain 0 is your final from South Africa, and the Americans will head to the final.
Sounds like the U.S. side actually mounted up a bit of defence, not to mention some offensive firepower. I have not seen the game yet, but it sounds like goalie Tim Howard and the American defence were the keys to the match. It also sounds like we mounted a better all-around game, as the New York Times notes:
With the win, the Americans prevented Spain from setting a new world record of 36 games without a loss.
I suppose Mike might log on and defend his lameness, but then again, he's probably "too busy" to blog.
Mike, Mike, Mike.
Resident USA hater Martin Fabricio, a.k.a. Mike "Mister Man" Herrmann, just didn’t believe in magic. Either that, or he provided some nice bulletin-board fodder for the Yanks, who just blanked Spain, of all teams, in the Confederations Cup.
USA 2, Spain 0 is your final from South Africa, and the Americans will head to the final.
USA caused one of the biggest surprises in international football history by beating European champions Spain to reach the Confederations Cup final.
Jozy Altidore scored the opener when he turned his marker Joan Capdevila to fire in from 15 yards.
Fulham’s Clint Dempsey doubled the lead when he converted Landon Donovan’s pass from close range.
Tim Howard saved from Fernando Torres and Cesc Fabregas before USA's Michael Bradley saw red for a tackle of Xavi.
Sounds like the U.S. side actually mounted up a bit of defence, not to mention some offensive firepower. I have not seen the game yet, but it sounds like goalie Tim Howard and the American defence were the keys to the match. It also sounds like we mounted a better all-around game, as the New York Times notes:
Tackling by the United States was superb, deference was nonexistent, recovery was vigilant and dramatic:
A muscular shoulder halted a Spanish run. A head arrived just in time to clear a ball away. A desperate slide smothered a shot. A leg raised at the last second deflected a threatening pass.
After a 3-0 win over Egypt on Sunday and an unlikely advance to the semifinals after defeats to Italy and Brazil, the United States’ previous caution became assertiveness. Against a team so secure in possession of the ball, the United States dictated the action at times, while Spain seemed back on its heels, out of sorts, its players grumbling and frustrated, raising their arms and leaning their heads back in exasperation.
The United States sent its captain into the lineup for the first time in the tournament. Carlos Bocanegra, who had missed the first round with a hamstring injury, returned Wednesday, this time at left back instead of his usual position in central defense.
The Americans preached patience and resilience.
With the win, the Americans prevented Spain from setting a new world record of 36 games without a loss.
I suppose Mike might log on and defend his lameness, but then again, he's probably "too busy" to blog.
21 June 2009
Hold On There, Chachmo!
"All of the critics in America who said we were no good after losing to Italy and Brazil, let's see what they say now," Michael Bradley said.
Umm, the US soccer team still sucks and will not score more than 3 goals in the World Cup.
That's what they say now.
Let me put this into perspective for you. Michael Bradley, a previous reserve for team USA, is boasting after this victory. This was a victory by FIFA's #14 ranked team, USA, over FIFA's #40 ranked team, Egypt. He seems to also be taking credit for Brazil's huge victory over Italy.
The fact of the matter is this. I am thankful that I will be in the timezone, and potentially, in the city, when we fail to score in most of our games and fail to advance past the group stage. It's much better than waking up at 3:30am to see that.
*As a preemptive strike against the barrage of slurs about to come my way for not posting...SUCK IT! (some people have to work for a living!)
Umm, the US soccer team still sucks and will not score more than 3 goals in the World Cup.
That's what they say now.
Let me put this into perspective for you. Michael Bradley, a previous reserve for team USA, is boasting after this victory. This was a victory by FIFA's #14 ranked team, USA, over FIFA's #40 ranked team, Egypt. He seems to also be taking credit for Brazil's huge victory over Italy.
The fact of the matter is this. I am thankful that I will be in the timezone, and potentially, in the city, when we fail to score in most of our games and fail to advance past the group stage. It's much better than waking up at 3:30am to see that.
*As a preemptive strike against the barrage of slurs about to come my way for not posting...SUCK IT! (some people have to work for a living!)
19 June 2009
Insert Terry Gilliam reference here
I was looking in on the ESPN “gamecast” of yesterday’s Confederations Cup match between the USA and Brazil as it happened, but last night I got to watch a bit of it on my DVR.
Now, we all knew what the outcome of the game would be. (It ended up being 3-0 Brazil, but I expected worse.) I don’t think any of us entertained any serious notions of the Yanks pulling off the upset of the powerhouse that is Brazil, with their Kaká and their Robinho and their Fabiano. (Not to mention their goalkeeper, Júlio César — as my friend Dave said, is he going to get stabbed in the back by one of his teammates? “Et tu, Kaká?”)
What I didn’t expect was for us to look completely and utterly incompetent. I mean, yeah, I expected the time of possession to be heavily in Brazil’s favour, but I did anticipate some sort of defence out of the U.S. side. Then again, we were missing defenders Carlos Bocanegra, Steve Cherundolo and Frankie Hejduk, so there was a mountain to climb by itself.
And also for us not to give up the ball on ridiculous miscues just when we get an offence going. It looked like a case of being star-struck, or stage fright, or something.
Some thoughts:
Now, we all knew what the outcome of the game would be. (It ended up being 3-0 Brazil, but I expected worse.) I don’t think any of us entertained any serious notions of the Yanks pulling off the upset of the powerhouse that is Brazil, with their Kaká and their Robinho and their Fabiano. (Not to mention their goalkeeper, Júlio César — as my friend Dave said, is he going to get stabbed in the back by one of his teammates? “Et tu, Kaká?”)
What I didn’t expect was for us to look completely and utterly incompetent. I mean, yeah, I expected the time of possession to be heavily in Brazil’s favour, but I did anticipate some sort of defence out of the U.S. side. Then again, we were missing defenders Carlos Bocanegra, Steve Cherundolo and Frankie Hejduk, so there was a mountain to climb by itself.
And also for us not to give up the ball on ridiculous miscues just when we get an offence going. It looked like a case of being star-struck, or stage fright, or something.
Some thoughts:
- Landon Donovan played well, and even had some good moves in the forward area.
- Brazil’s first goal came on a free kick from about 20 yards out, but that free kick was based on a foul that shouldn’t have been called. Not that I’m making excuses (plus, it was beautiful ball placement by Maicon), but still. Giving up a goal in the first six minutes is a definite killer.
- U.S. goalie Tim Howard had no chance on the second Brazil goal, a breakaway by Robinho in the 19th minute.
- Things settle down a bit in the second half (hey, we held them to one goal!), but I didn’t bother to watch. So I didn’t see what the fuss was about when Sacha Kljestan was sent off in the 56th minute.
- Speaking of time of possession, the U.S. had only three shots (none on goal) in the first half, notching only two more (again none on goal) in the second. I think a couple may have hit the crossbar. Brazil had 14 shots, eight of which were on goal.
- DeMarcus Beasley sucks.
18 June 2009
You Cannot Stop Tim Cahill, You Can Only Hope to Contain Him
And Japan didn’t.
In front of nearly 70,000 fans at the Melbourne Cricket Ground – Australia came back from a 0-1 halftime deficit to see Tim Cahill score twice in the second half to top Japan 2-1. With the victory, Australia now sits atop the Asian qualifiers for the World Cup.
I made my way to The G well before kickoff – arriving at 7:30 pm for a late 8:20 pm kickoff – just to take in the atmosphere. Melbourne has a pretty sizeable Japanese student population – and they came out to support their team in force.
But, um, it was a little unstable.
I saw not one, but two young Japanese male fans dressed as…um…well, there’s really no other way to say it…
Kamikazes
It was very, very unstable – and I think I did a triple take.
Is 65 years a little too soon?
Anyway – the game was great, the atmosphere terrific, and I am now even more excited for the South Africa trip. I was sitting in the nosebleeds with several friends – without Herrmann of course – he had a “conference” for the “tourism industry” and “couldn’t make it.”
Whatever.
I had the 1974 retro Australia jersey – the first time the team played in the World Cup and an Aussie soccer scarf I bought back in 2006 when Australia played Greece in a pre-Germany 2006 friendly. I can’t wait to wear them again.
I’m fully onboard the Aussie bandwagon and can’t wait for South Africa.
Oh, and one other thing to the FGOC guys. I say we offer a few ground rules for the World Cup.
#1: There will be an official one beer penalty for anyone that participates in the Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi cheer. Terrible.
17 June 2009
The Diving Divas
While we await Drew’s recap of Australia’s 2-1 win over Japan in World Cup qualifying — he was there, live and in person, in Melbourne — here is a little humour.
We at FGOC hate the Italian team. Well, at least I do. This is for them:
Hat tip to my pal Dave for sending this to me.
We at FGOC hate the Italian team. Well, at least I do. This is for them:
Hat tip to my pal Dave for sending this to me.
15 June 2009
South Africa in 2010 – Australia in 2022?
As the world takes a somewhat early glimpse into South Africa 2010 with this week’s Confederations Cup, countries around the globe are tarting up like an 18 year old freshmen girl at SMU Rush Week to be chosen as host nations for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.
Australia launched its “audacious” bid at the nation’s capital on Sunday, replete with more politicians trying to get on TV than a…well, a bunch of politicians at a World Cup launch.
Pretty much everyone agrees that England will be awarded the 2018 Cup – they are the home of the game, haven’t hosted since 1966, the EPL is the “premier” league, and Europe will have gone two World Cups without hosting by 2018.
But 2022 is a different ballgame. Russia, the US, and Australia all are considered the top countries. I don’t see how Russia could get it after England, so you have to figure that my two home countries are in the running. USA 94 saw the largest crowds in World Cup history and the largest market was wrapped in World Cup glory that glorious Summer. But, despite its’ best intentions, Major League Soccer is still a very distant fifth sport in the US and soccer still hasn’t cracked the public consciousness – and probably never will.
So, I say we support Australia’s bid. The country will need to build several new World Cup worth stadiums, the time zones suck, and the sport is still relegated behind Aussie Rules, rugby, and even cricket – but with the success of the Socceroos in 2006 and the growing popularity of the domestic A-League, soccer is on the rise. Plus, Aussies absolutely love a bandwagon to jump on and if the World Cup powers that be can take the competition to places like South Korea and South Africa – why not here?
Oh, and check out the official Australia “Come Play” video. Pretty cool except for the absolutely blatant product placement of a certain company from Oregon.
And, it kinda reminds me (a lot) of this commercial from that same company – guess there’s only so much you can do with a soccer ball.
To see more on the Australia World Cup bid – check out the official site and join me in bringing the great game Down Under – we’ll be happy to host you here in Melbourne.
Australia launched its “audacious” bid at the nation’s capital on Sunday, replete with more politicians trying to get on TV than a…well, a bunch of politicians at a World Cup launch.
Pretty much everyone agrees that England will be awarded the 2018 Cup – they are the home of the game, haven’t hosted since 1966, the EPL is the “premier” league, and Europe will have gone two World Cups without hosting by 2018.
But 2022 is a different ballgame. Russia, the US, and Australia all are considered the top countries. I don’t see how Russia could get it after England, so you have to figure that my two home countries are in the running. USA 94 saw the largest crowds in World Cup history and the largest market was wrapped in World Cup glory that glorious Summer. But, despite its’ best intentions, Major League Soccer is still a very distant fifth sport in the US and soccer still hasn’t cracked the public consciousness – and probably never will.
So, I say we support Australia’s bid. The country will need to build several new World Cup worth stadiums, the time zones suck, and the sport is still relegated behind Aussie Rules, rugby, and even cricket – but with the success of the Socceroos in 2006 and the growing popularity of the domestic A-League, soccer is on the rise. Plus, Aussies absolutely love a bandwagon to jump on and if the World Cup powers that be can take the competition to places like South Korea and South Africa – why not here?
Oh, and check out the official Australia “Come Play” video. Pretty cool except for the absolutely blatant product placement of a certain company from Oregon.
And, it kinda reminds me (a lot) of this commercial from that same company – guess there’s only so much you can do with a soccer ball.
To see more on the Australia World Cup bid – check out the official site and join me in bringing the great game Down Under – we’ll be happy to host you here in Melbourne.
11 June 2009
It’s Official
Australia’s going to South Africa, and so is FGOC!
Following a circle jerk, 0-0 tie in Qatar, Australia became the second team to secure a ticket to South Africa.
It was a ho-hum game and pretty uneventful here in Australia, mostly because it happened in the middle of the night our time and it didn’t have the same suspense as 2006 – but that’s a good thing.
The Boys From Oz played a 2-0 victory over Bahrain to a pathetic 39,000 “strong” crowd in Sydney last night to further strengthen the #1 Asia position as many second teamers trying to gain coach Pim Verbeek’s affection.
Let’s just say that next week’s Australia – Japan match at The G should be a more exciting game. It’s a chance to shore up that top ranking, to beat a world class team, and to play before the best sports crowd in Australia.
I’ll be there wearing the green and gold and getting in some practice for South Africa. Plus, I’d love to see some Japanese ass getting kicked.
Speaking of – I received a full package (mark that) of stuff from Tourism South Africa to start planning our trip. It was great. Three random posters in a shipping sleeve – some random waterfall and two safari pictures, a hotel guide from 2004, and a general “Welcome to South Africa” brochure from a few years ago. Thought it was great that they sent so much stuff and I can’t wait to get more.
Maybe we can put up one of those Tourism South Africa posters at the new Bonza Bike shop in Melbourne with a big countdown calendar – 364 days to go!
Following a circle jerk, 0-0 tie in Qatar, Australia became the second team to secure a ticket to South Africa.
It was a ho-hum game and pretty uneventful here in Australia, mostly because it happened in the middle of the night our time and it didn’t have the same suspense as 2006 – but that’s a good thing.
The Boys From Oz played a 2-0 victory over Bahrain to a pathetic 39,000 “strong” crowd in Sydney last night to further strengthen the #1 Asia position as many second teamers trying to gain coach Pim Verbeek’s affection.
Let’s just say that next week’s Australia – Japan match at The G should be a more exciting game. It’s a chance to shore up that top ranking, to beat a world class team, and to play before the best sports crowd in Australia.
I’ll be there wearing the green and gold and getting in some practice for South Africa. Plus, I’d love to see some Japanese ass getting kicked.
Speaking of – I received a full package (mark that) of stuff from Tourism South Africa to start planning our trip. It was great. Three random posters in a shipping sleeve – some random waterfall and two safari pictures, a hotel guide from 2004, and a general “Welcome to South Africa” brochure from a few years ago. Thought it was great that they sent so much stuff and I can’t wait to get more.
Maybe we can put up one of those Tourism South Africa posters at the new Bonza Bike shop in Melbourne with a big countdown calendar – 364 days to go!
08 June 2009
USA wins!
Well the USA got some redemption Saturday night in Chicago. After that disastrous outing down in Costa Rica last week, we needed a win.
(First, I have to call out Mike for not blogging about the Costa Rica game. He said he was going to. But he let all of you Four Guys One Cuppers down, didn’t he? You all should pile on next time he posts. What an asshat.)
Anyway, I got pretty nervous when we gave up a goal in the fifth minute. My friends and I were just saying, “If we can keep this to 0-0 by the half, we’ll be in good shape.” Then bam, goal. Ouch, suck.
But as the half drew to a close, a hand ball in the penalty zone by Mario Beata put Landon Donovan on the line for a penalty kick, which he drained. (Although he came scarily close to hitting the crossbar on his shot.)
Donovan played pretty well, all told. Sometimes he seems like he can’t be bothered to be there, or if one thing goes wrong in the early stages it sticks with him like a bad cold and affects his play for the rest of the game. But he was solid, and it was his corner kick that came in and eventually found Carlos Bocanegra’s head for the go-ahead goal in the 68th minute.
So for the first time in 24 years the Yanks came from behind to win a World Cup qualifier, and they did it in front of 55,647 at Soldier Field, itself a former World Cup venue. (Granted, the Hondurans were out in full force. The USA seriously needs some better fans.)
We’re now two points behind Costa Rica and a full five points ahead of El Salvador. Meanwhile, Mexico is in serious danger: They are 1-0-3 in qualifying and have notched only three points, making them fifth out of six teams in CONCACAF. Only the top three qualify, of course. I will laugh if the Mexicans don’t make it.
(First, I have to call out Mike for not blogging about the Costa Rica game. He said he was going to. But he let all of you Four Guys One Cuppers down, didn’t he? You all should pile on next time he posts. What an asshat.)
Anyway, I got pretty nervous when we gave up a goal in the fifth minute. My friends and I were just saying, “If we can keep this to 0-0 by the half, we’ll be in good shape.” Then bam, goal. Ouch, suck.
Clint Dempsey flubbed a backheel five minutes in, Honduras pounced on it and the United States fell behind early for the second time in four days.
“Here we go again,” U.S. captain Carlos Bocanegra thought.
But as the half drew to a close, a hand ball in the penalty zone by Mario Beata put Landon Donovan on the line for a penalty kick, which he drained. (Although he came scarily close to hitting the crossbar on his shot.)
Donovan played pretty well, all told. Sometimes he seems like he can’t be bothered to be there, or if one thing goes wrong in the early stages it sticks with him like a bad cold and affects his play for the rest of the game. But he was solid, and it was his corner kick that came in and eventually found Carlos Bocanegra’s head for the go-ahead goal in the 68th minute.
So for the first time in 24 years the Yanks came from behind to win a World Cup qualifier, and they did it in front of 55,647 at Soldier Field, itself a former World Cup venue. (Granted, the Hondurans were out in full force. The USA seriously needs some better fans.)
We’re now two points behind Costa Rica and a full five points ahead of El Salvador. Meanwhile, Mexico is in serious danger: They are 1-0-3 in qualifying and have notched only three points, making them fifth out of six teams in CONCACAF. Only the top three qualify, of course. I will laugh if the Mexicans don’t make it.
05 June 2009
Australia vs. Qatar
Hopefully, the game's not here.
Beginning at 2 am Melbourne time Saturday, Australia plays Qatar (pronounced KA-tar, not cut-ter) to secure the first official spot in the 2010 World Cup. Why this game is being played so damned late in the night Aussie time is beyond me - and don't tell me it's because of the heat - it's a f'in desert.
The game is getting a fair bit of coverage here in Australia, but not nearly as much as it should, especially since the Aussie celebrated like a 16 year old boy at his first strip joint when they beat Uruguay in 2005 to make it to Germany 06.
I actually agree with Australia star striker Tim Cahill about the apathetic Australians:
"I don't listen to the criticism. I am sick of it, people who are criticising us in the situation we are in, purely because we are one point away from qualifying for the World Cup.
"People can't be grateful for the schedules we have got and how hard we work, domestically and internationally, to give everything to our country. People who criticise are very fickle and forget how hard it is to qualify for the World Cup. It's the media who want to build things up and for me it upsets me and makes me angry and the best thing is just to play football and hopefully do the business."
I'll be cheering from the Aussies to put this thing to bed so they can prepare for South Africa 2010 and not be jerked around. Plus, Daddy's really looking forward to seeing the Australians play Japan on June 17th at The G.
03 June 2009
Quick hit
The U.S. national team plays a World Cup qualifier tonight in Costa Rica. The Ticos are only one point behind us in the CONCACAF standings, and we have had serious trouble in Saprissa Stadium, a.k.a. “La Cueva del Monstruo” (the monster’s cave):
Bags of urine! Now that’s special. (I also wonder what the cryptic “chemical substances” means.)
One game note: U.S. defender Frankie Hejduk is not expected to play due to groin injury, but he most likely will be back in action Saturday against Honduras in Chi-town.
The Ticos, as the hosts are known, play their home matches in a tall, rectangular, 23,000-seat venue known to generate structural tremors that rival a mild earthquake in this geologically unstable land. Without a running track to serve as a buffer, spectators are about 10 yards from the sidelines, separated from the players by wire fence that tilts inward at the top to prevent pitch invasions.
…
In a 1996 qualifier, U.S. players were pelted with batteries, coins, chemical substances and bags of urine — acts that belied the character of a country that does not have a standing military, boasts a Nobel Peace Prize winner (President Oscar Arias) and boasts numerous yoga and spiritual retreats amid its natural wonders.
Bags of urine! Now that’s special. (I also wonder what the cryptic “chemical substances” means.)
One game note: U.S. defender Frankie Hejduk is not expected to play due to groin injury, but he most likely will be back in action Saturday against Honduras in Chi-town.
02 June 2009
Zee Germans
If only to get that Chelski bullshit off the top of the page, I’ll continue our tour of World Cup countries. Scotty T has already touched on them briefly, but I’ll give it a go, too. And mostly because I want to make fun of Scott, albeit in a small and obvious way.
Gërmänÿ
I love Germany. Hell, I have to — my maternal grandmother grew up speaking German at home, and she still curses in the Muttersprache from time to time. Even my surname, Hoover, is of Germanic origins and used to have the all-important umlaut (Hüber).
I’ve only been to Germany once, somehow, and I didn’t even get to Berlin. But I did hit Munich — wait, München, I have to use that umlaut; it’s like cowbell — and loved it. I was familiar with it from my childhood, because my dad went there on business a lot. That probably explained why he had a tendency toward Löwenbräu (I got a fever!) at dinnertime, and I still have one of the ornate steins he brought back.
Ah, the Hauptbahnhof, the Marienplatz and the glockenspiel. That’s an in-joke for Mike. He and I were there on the same college study abroad program, oh, 11 years ago. We drank some serious beer at the Hofbräuhaus (You’re gonna want that umlaut!), and sang along with the oom-pah band.
Besides, he’s as German as they come, way more than I am. My other half is Scottish, but Mike’s all kraut. All blond hair, blue eyes and such an über-German surname. (Not to mention a redundant one — his name is Mike Mister Man.) Just for shits and giggles, here’s a picture of Mr. Mister Mann in front of some shop in Munich:
But I digress.
What’s not to love about Germany? Oh, right. The genocide and war-starting recidivism. But we’ve forgiven them by now, nein? They’re on our side, or at least they were until their poor chancellor had to endure a public molestation by our idiot former president. (Sorry about that, Angela!) But they do love them some Barry, so maybe we’re back in good graces.
Of course, there’s the beer, blah blah. But they also have some pretty hot women, albeit in a very technical, angular way. They have given us my favourite word of all time: schadenfreude. (This might be Drew’s, too.) They hate the space bar (how the Hölle are there only two umlauts in that word?). Their motoring prowess is well documented. And, yes, the “people’s car” sponsors my Stateside football club’s kit.
And their team is good, too. It’s funny that every stereotype you pick for Germans — technical, efficient, meticulous, blond — is personified in their national team. Just like the Italians are raging pussies on the football pitch, Germans are brutally efficient and technical in their play.
One downside is their really unstable nickname: Die Mannschaft. This supposedly translates into “The Team,” which is nice and pretentious and all, but come on. Mannschaft. Man Shaft? No wonder Thompson likes them. His self-proclaimed man-crush on Michael Ballack now makes perfect sense. (OK that was not a very good payoff for the FST bashing at the top of this post, I admit it.)
I remember watching their matches in the 2002 World Cup, particularly because they knocked out the USA in the quarterfinals. They eventually lost to Brazil, 2-0. Heartbreak in ’06, when they hosted the damn thing. They were 3-0 out of group play, top of Group A, and had a mixed bag in the knockout stage — blanking the Swedes and tying Argentina before losing to the Diving Divas in the semis. They got minor redemption in the third-place game, knocking out that bitch Christiano Ronaldo’s Portugal 3-1.
Although let it be noted that Scott’s dream boy/man shaft Michael Ballack had zero goals in ’06. (Maybe it’s his lack of an umlaut.)
Plus, they had be-umlauted coach Jürgen Klinsmann (Sure, baby! Just say it!) take them to great success. His departure after ’06 made me happy, because I thought the U.S. national team just might hire the guy to replace Bruce Arena. But no, the fucks in the league office decided against Klinsmann, who wanted to coach the Americans, because — well, because the head of U.S. Soccer is an asshat.
All of this to say that I won’t mind watching Germany in the World Cup, even though my (secondary) national team is France. And well know how that can turn out.
Gërmänÿ
I love Germany. Hell, I have to — my maternal grandmother grew up speaking German at home, and she still curses in the Muttersprache from time to time. Even my surname, Hoover, is of Germanic origins and used to have the all-important umlaut (Hüber).
I’ve only been to Germany once, somehow, and I didn’t even get to Berlin. But I did hit Munich — wait, München, I have to use that umlaut; it’s like cowbell — and loved it. I was familiar with it from my childhood, because my dad went there on business a lot. That probably explained why he had a tendency toward Löwenbräu (I got a fever!) at dinnertime, and I still have one of the ornate steins he brought back.
Ah, the Hauptbahnhof, the Marienplatz and the glockenspiel. That’s an in-joke for Mike. He and I were there on the same college study abroad program, oh, 11 years ago. We drank some serious beer at the Hofbräuhaus (You’re gonna want that umlaut!), and sang along with the oom-pah band.
Besides, he’s as German as they come, way more than I am. My other half is Scottish, but Mike’s all kraut. All blond hair, blue eyes and such an über-German surname. (Not to mention a redundant one — his name is Mike Mister Man.) Just for shits and giggles, here’s a picture of Mr. Mister Mann in front of some shop in Munich:
But I digress.
What’s not to love about Germany? Oh, right. The genocide and war-starting recidivism. But we’ve forgiven them by now, nein? They’re on our side, or at least they were until their poor chancellor had to endure a public molestation by our idiot former president. (Sorry about that, Angela!) But they do love them some Barry, so maybe we’re back in good graces.
Of course, there’s the beer, blah blah. But they also have some pretty hot women, albeit in a very technical, angular way. They have given us my favourite word of all time: schadenfreude. (This might be Drew’s, too.) They hate the space bar (how the Hölle are there only two umlauts in that word?). Their motoring prowess is well documented. And, yes, the “people’s car” sponsors my Stateside football club’s kit.
And their team is good, too. It’s funny that every stereotype you pick for Germans — technical, efficient, meticulous, blond — is personified in their national team. Just like the Italians are raging pussies on the football pitch, Germans are brutally efficient and technical in their play.
One downside is their really unstable nickname: Die Mannschaft. This supposedly translates into “The Team,” which is nice and pretentious and all, but come on. Mannschaft. Man Shaft? No wonder Thompson likes them. His self-proclaimed man-crush on Michael Ballack now makes perfect sense. (OK that was not a very good payoff for the FST bashing at the top of this post, I admit it.)
I remember watching their matches in the 2002 World Cup, particularly because they knocked out the USA in the quarterfinals. They eventually lost to Brazil, 2-0. Heartbreak in ’06, when they hosted the damn thing. They were 3-0 out of group play, top of Group A, and had a mixed bag in the knockout stage — blanking the Swedes and tying Argentina before losing to the Diving Divas in the semis. They got minor redemption in the third-place game, knocking out that bitch Christiano Ronaldo’s Portugal 3-1.
Although let it be noted that Scott’s dream boy/man shaft Michael Ballack had zero goals in ’06. (Maybe it’s his lack of an umlaut.)
Plus, they had be-umlauted coach Jürgen Klinsmann (Sure, baby! Just say it!) take them to great success. His departure after ’06 made me happy, because I thought the U.S. national team just might hire the guy to replace Bruce Arena. But no, the fucks in the league office decided against Klinsmann, who wanted to coach the Americans, because — well, because the head of U.S. Soccer is an asshat.
All of this to say that I won’t mind watching Germany in the World Cup, even though my (secondary) national team is France. And well know how that can turn out.
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