Germany: OK, they kind of have the reputation of being a bunch of racist, intolerant pricks who show no compassion. Also, their history of killing ethnic minorities is not so great. They were against us in both World Wars. So, you might ask yourself, why do I like them? The answer is, I'm not really sure. Maybe I admire how far they've come since WWII (and, if we go back far enough, WWII was kind of France's fault anyway). I've met quite a few and found them to be warm, friendly people. I spent some time in Europe a few years back, and Munich was probably my favorite city that I visited. Their pride, cuisine, beer, and fine-ass, eager lasses are all big positives.
As far as football goes, I admire their physical style of play. They don't pull that pussy boy, fall down and act like you just got raped crap, whenever someone so much as nicks the edge of their cleats. Well, they do a little, but not nearly as much as the southern European teams (we'll get to them in a bit). I also like German names. If Italy had a player named Schweinsteiger, it would greatly increase my opinion of them. Their bruising style and macho attitude is very refreshing. Oh, and Michael Ballack has the best hair of any footballer alive.
Japan: When you live in Korea (or even visit), you quickly learn that Korean children are taught to blindly hate Japan. There's good reason for this, for Koreans. Japan has invaded and fucked with Korea on multiple occasions. Japan traditionally has a more barbaric military culture, compared to Korea's peaceful nature (unless they're hopped up on soju). I've been to an occupation era prison and seen the little coffin-like recesses where Korean nationalists were locked up for three days. At the end of the three days, they would come out paralyzed. Japan basically raped and killed this country into hating it.
Now, I've been to Japan, and I know that things have changed (just like in Germany). However, when you have hundreds of Korean kids constantly reminding you how much they suck, you start to believe it. Now, whenever I hear, "Teacher, Korea good, Japan bad!", I'm like, "Yeah, fuck those guys!" So I blindly hate Japan. Deal with it. I hope they lose and all of their players get the Mexican Flu.
Italy: I hope they go 0-3 in the opening round. I hate their guts. Every time I see Manu Ginobili (he's really Italian) flopping like a wounded duck whenever someone comes within two feet of him, it makes me hate Italy. Grosso, De Rossi, Rossi, Toni, Zambrotta, etc. Those pussy boy pricks with their slick hair and drama queen flops make me want to puke my guts out. This is a sport, not the fucking opera.
Also, how fucking racist can a country be in this day and age? Black players are called monkeys by chanting fans at club matches? Are you fucking kidding me? And a large number of fans participate? Christ, what a crap culture Italy has turned into. I should start a website called whitepeopleloveus.com http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com, with testimonials from condescending Eurotrash Italian football fans, about how much they really love African-born players. If it weren't for their food and their country's scenery, I'd wish obliteration upon them and their hairy-armpitted women.
Portugal: I don't think they're going to qualify, but this pretty much sums up my thoughts on Portugal and Douchebaggio Ronaldo: http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h155/Jueco/Soccer_boner_confusion.gif?t=1242841410
Keep on keepin' on...
Japan: When you live in Korea (or even visit), you quickly learn that Korean children are taught to blindly hate Japan. There's good reason for this, for Koreans. Japan has invaded and fucked with Korea on multiple occasions. Japan traditionally has a more barbaric military culture, compared to Korea's peaceful nature (unless they're hopped up on soju). I've been to an occupation era prison and seen the little coffin-like recesses where Korean nationalists were locked up for three days. At the end of the three days, they would come out paralyzed. Japan basically raped and killed this country into hating it.
Now, I've been to Japan, and I know that things have changed (just like in Germany). However, when you have hundreds of Korean kids constantly reminding you how much they suck, you start to believe it. Now, whenever I hear, "Teacher, Korea good, Japan bad!", I'm like, "Yeah, fuck those guys!" So I blindly hate Japan. Deal with it. I hope they lose and all of their players get the Mexican Flu.
Italy: I hope they go 0-3 in the opening round. I hate their guts. Every time I see Manu Ginobili (he's really Italian) flopping like a wounded duck whenever someone comes within two feet of him, it makes me hate Italy. Grosso, De Rossi, Rossi, Toni, Zambrotta, etc. Those pussy boy pricks with their slick hair and drama queen flops make me want to puke my guts out. This is a sport, not the fucking opera.
Also, how fucking racist can a country be in this day and age? Black players are called monkeys by chanting fans at club matches? Are you fucking kidding me? And a large number of fans participate? Christ, what a crap culture Italy has turned into. I should start a website called whitepeopleloveus.com http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com, with testimonials from condescending Eurotrash Italian football fans, about how much they really love African-born players. If it weren't for their food and their country's scenery, I'd wish obliteration upon them and their hairy-armpitted women.
Portugal: I don't think they're going to qualify, but this pretty much sums up my thoughts on Portugal and Douchebaggio Ronaldo: http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h155/Jueco/Soccer_boner_confusion.gif?t=1242841410
Keep on keepin' on...
4 comments:
Have to agree with you - especially about Italy. I hate those fucks. I hated them even before we got hosed in our game with them in the last WC.
Those whining, flopping, diving bitches. I call them the Diving Divas. They're all pussies, it's a wonder their women actually date Italian men.
They've come a long way since WWII, as well, but they've gotten pussier.
I'll agree with you on the scenery, but you know what? I don't like Italian food. There, I said it. Ooh, this pasta's so fresh! WTF? It's pasta. It all tastes the same. And you try to act like rigatoni is different from linguine -- no it isn't! It's just a different shape! It's the same shit!
Also, when was the last time you had ridiculously good Italian food? I mean, really. As in, slap your mama, run around the block, beat off in the men's room good? Never. You know why? Because it doesn't exist. It's all either total shit, or just OK.
Any other cuisine in the world -- French, Korean, Mexican, Greek -- anything but British (because they have no cuisine) has a wide variety of tastes and qualities. I've had transcendent Mexican food. All Italian food, to me, tastes like the Olive Garden.
It's not Mel, it's Goat.
I don't know if I'm allowed to chime in here, but here goes.
How can you bring up drama queens and NOT mention Mexico? Or Brazil for that matter! I love Brazil, but those guys will take a dive on you. And Mexico...don't get me started.
Hey Goat - chime away.
I agree ... however, my vitriol is mostly reserved for the Italians. Mexico? We own Mexico. (And I love that, because they so hate it.)
Brazil, well ... they have beautiful women, which gets them ... something.
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