T minus three days

Well, it’s December, which means that here in Washington it’s getting cold and the sun is setting at 4 p.m. Down in the Antipodes, where Drew and Mike reside, it’s summertime, so those jackasses are hitting the beach, like, daily. Because they suck.

That also means we are three days away from the Final Draw. At 7 p.m. local time in Cape Town (noon in Washington, 2 a.m. Saturday in Seoul and 4 a.m. Saturday in Melbourne), FIFA will announce the group seeding for next year’s little football contest.

Indeed, every Draw throws up at least one fiercely competitive section, where several traditional powers have to fight for the right to progress. Who can forget Group C at Germany 2006, which comprised Argentina, Côte d’Ivoire, Serbia and Montenegro and the Netherlands? Then there are the dark horses to contend with, quality teams which strive to spring a surprise and relish the opportunity to upset the game’s established heavyweights.

Yeah, and what they didn’t say is that the United States typically gets screwed in the draw, even if we win our region, as we did this year. You watch. They’ll seed Mexico higher, and we’ll get the shaft.

Speaking of shafts, here’s one more thing we’ll have to worry about next year: meteors.



Then again, perhaps celestial catastrophes could make for some game-saving diversions, allowing Thierry Henry to hand-ball another goal. You never know.