Heckling at the Workplace and Other Such Shennanigans

My dear friend, FST, made a great observation about the poor taste in Italian heckling. This got me thinking about heckling in general. First, I am a true fan of the heckle. I think the heckle-moment that solidified my appreciation for the art was in the top half of the 7th inning at a Rangers game in 1993. To set the scene, the Rangers were playing the Twins and our seats were about 10 rows back from the opposition's batting circle. After two innings of every fan ripping into the Twins, the heckling lost some steam (as you do when you watch a game that is as boring as baseball). The great redemption occured when former Twin great, Kirby Puckett, snuck into the batting circle, unnoticed by all sections nearby...bar one fan. As I dipped into the greatness of stadium nachos, I heard the heckle "Hey everyone! Look! It's FATBOY!!!!" Now, let me break down why this was so comical. First, obviously, Kirby Puckett, was fat. Second, true heckling greatness means fighting the elements, such as boredom. Finally, it was simple, and clean...the most pure form of the heckle.

This brings me to my pontification for the week. Why doesn't some sports related product company, like Gatorade or the likes, do a contest where you can have a superstar come to your office and heckle you. I think this would make for great TV. I can imagine winning the contest and having LeBron James come to my office and yell things like:

• Hey Herrmann! What happened with that type-o? Did your skirt fly up in your face?
• Hey fatty! My three year old can create a better bar chart than you with his crayons!
• (Thundersticks clapping together while he and the whole Cavs team are swaying back and forth together during a meeting) Herrrrrrrrrmmmmaaaaannnnnnn!!! Herrrrrrrrrrmmmmmaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!
• You shouldn't call those 3rd Quarter results! You should call them SHIT!

Now on to football... I read this article today (http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=649031&sec=us&root=us&cc=3436). I am deeply saddenned by the US ability to hope and pray that good players magically appear on our national team. This article represents the biggest stretch I have seen yet to make this happen. Alternatively, there could be so little to write about our team, that this writer got bored and said "Hmmmm, what international players could I loosely tie back to the US...oh, I see Ronaldo appeared on the Carson Daly Show. Let's see, that puts him only 10 years away from citizenship!"

Team reviews coming up...

Get off your knees ref, you're blowing the game!

Fabricio