One More Year in Korea

This is Scott weighing in, b/c I don't want our little blogaholic to monopolize this thing. I'm starting a new job soon in Korea, which will end right around the end of May 2010, leaving me just enough time to go to Vietnam and pull a Gary Glitter (come on, you know you like that song), before making my way to Suthefrika for the Cup. However, Korean immigration has decided to make things interesting for me.

To quote a real dickhead former president, "I'm not a crook." I have no freaking criminal record, and I have a letter from the SAPD (holale, vatos!) verifying that. But Korean immigration is requesting an FBI check on me now, even though their laws state that I don't need one. Personally, I think it's b/c I look like a fucking rapist in my passport-sized photos that I submitted for my visa. I had to wake up at 8 to go to the US embassy (I usually wake up at noon), so I did what any sane person would do the night before. I got hammered and passed out early, to ensure plenty of sleep. This resulted in an unflattering product from the photo booth at the embassy. I'm sure I can work this all out, but I'm annoyed as hell about it, and wanted to share my frustration with you fine people. Venting helps, since I can't find a damn joint anywhere in this country.

I'm a pretty fucking good teacher, in my opinion, and I love fucking with Korean kids. One of the most fun things is naming new kids (giving them English names). I used to just assign them awesome names, like Hank, Mac, and Simpson (OJ, not Homer). Now, I just write about 15 names on the board, say them all, and make the kid pick one. This is much more fun, b/c about half the names are legit (Joey, Mike, Steven), and the other half are absurd (Adonis, Hercules, Tank). Whatever they pick, they get (and there have been some pretty good ones). That pretty much sums things up.

I feel like I'm also kind of the bum of this group; the black sheep, if you will. I take great pride in that. I mean, with this group, that's sort of like being the worst inmate on death row, but still. Drew is married with a second kid on the way, Ed is a respected PR guy in DC, and Mike owns his own business. I don't really have a respected job, and I'm basically just killing time and trying to see as much of the world as I can before a nuclear Taliban or the Mexican Flu kills us all. As for the perfect burrito that Ed mentioned, well, I know where it is. It's at fucking Freebirds!, and I'm going to murder it when I get back Stateside next month.

I'm excited about going to the Cup next year, but it really hasn't hit me yet. I think when I'm balls deep in some penguin's beak on top of Table Mountain, with Winnie Mandela filming me, it's going to really hit me. I'll youporn it, so don't worry about missing out. It will be glorious! Peace to all!

Keep on keepin' on...